ya know, i did this on fb. but i didnt want to share too much...so here's everything. if you knew me you would know that i had a drinking problem...and still do. if you really knew me once i started going out with kelly i stopped for a real long time, but family shit keeps me drinking. if you really knew me i have one of worlds best friends, Joe. he is really like my brother. if you really knew me i have a beautiful girlfriend and always feel bad because i feel that she deserves much better than me. if you really knew me you would know that it sucked when my sister went through her ED. if you really knew me you would know how much ive suffered the past couple of months with my parents divorcing. ive cried myself to sleep more times than when i was younger. everyone asks me if im doing fine but i completely lie to their faces. i tell them im fine but im actually hurting horribly inside. if you really knew me i have the best of friends at reverb but there is always drama, drama, and more drama. some people just need to get over themselves there and not get mad just cuz of what others think of them. if you really knew me, i have the best father in the world. i really treated him like crap when the whole divorce started cuz i thought it was his fault. and i really regret every second i treated him that way. because i miss him so much. if you really knew me he is the only father i have and will only be the only father i have. i love him to no end. and it sucks that he is out of the house. i dont have that male figure to look up to. if you really knew me i get very emotional and weak when someone leaves. i get emotional when my girlfriends leaves on trips and when my father leaves on trips. if you really knew me my mom isnt making the best decisions and she is really getting influenced by others like her new friend. and if you knew me i hate it. if you really knew me i cant wait to get out of this mess and if you really knew me you would know that i dont want to get out and look at this mess from above, but i want to try to fix it...even though its basically impossible. if you really knew me i want to defend my country by joining the army but one person has been keeping me back...the love of my life. and whether we make it all the way or if we end it horribly, i always love her and that i will never stop loving her. if you really knew me, you'd be my real true friend who doesnt mind my annoyingness or my immaturity or anything. because i live life to the fullest and try to have fun. if you really knew me, i want to get a tattoo in honor of my grandfather but i dont know how my father will react to it so i have to lie and say its my "confirmation name" which it is but i need to tell him that. but its really for my grandfather. if you really knew me, im in love with kelly nicole skarzynski and that is the only person that makes me happy every day i see her or talk to her. if you really knew me...
